Nespresso Dharkan and Kazaar

A couple of days ago one of my oldest supposed friends abused me horribly by text, belittling and being wholly unrealistic about the seriousness of my current illness. The Bastard. It made me want to drink bleach. Instead I decided to try the new strength eleven and twelve Nespresso coffee capsules: Dharkan and Kazaar. The delay in this review appearing is because my illness still makes it extremely hard to write.

I have written before about the brilliance of the Nespresso system. You may want to wash your grinders every day, roast your own single cru beans to your taste fresh before immediately before grinding, but there is no chance you will get coffee that is as reproducibly good as with Nespresso. And it is really, really good.

In the past the strength of Nespresso coffee capsules have only gone up to ten, and I’ve been fabulously satisfied with Indriya, the strength ten Indian coffee pod. However, now there are Dharkan and Kazaar, strength eleven and twelve coffee pods. How could I resist such potentially head-exploding power in preference to bleach when someone who should not have been was such a shit to me?

Dharkan and Khazaar coffee pods

So what are they like?

Dharkan Nespresso coffee in a Rupert Spira espresso cupDharkan Nespresso coffee pod

You should note my picture of Dharkan is taken with it in a Rupert Spira espresso cup. How could it fail to be spiffing?

This is a blend of Arabica beans from Latin America and Asia, slowly roasted at a low temperature.

The nose is powerful yet has finesse to the aromas. They are drippingly seductive. It has a smooth crema which eats into your teeth at an appropriate rate. The palate is certainly strong yet lustfully desirable. This is a rubber-clad minx with holes in all the right places. You want it, you really do, I know I do and I’ve got a cup in front of me. I’ll drink it now. The complexity of flavours is really impressive for a coffee so strong; the minx has a imaginative array of implements. Dharkan is without a doubt the very best coffee I have ever had with nothing, even Indriya, coming close. The lewd attractiveness of its sophistication and intellectual thrills of what you know it’s going to do to your rude bits palate make it totally top bunny.

Kazaar Nespresso coffee pod

This coffee is a blend of Robustas from Brazil and Guatemala and a separately roasted Arabica from South America. It’s easy to be sniffy about Robusta beans but if you don’t like a bit of rough now and then you are not experiencing life’s rich, full palate of pleasures.

This has a dark, intense nose of cocoa, pepper and toasted cereals. This is going to hurt, OH YES! The crema has a sharp, bitter bite of incredible intensity. That’s good. The coffee itself has a strong, peppery bitterness balanced by a rich, unctuous  density. It’s a muscly bint who’s going to work you over good, but I assure you you’ll enjoy every moment. It may be a strapping beauty, but beauty it is. Within those ripped and cut lines there is an intricacy of carefully delineated blood vessels flavours that keep your interest burning as you get pummelled by its incredible power. The flavours persist for an incredible period and almost leave you exhausted as they do. Kazaar is a great, great coffee, and I shall drink mine with enthusiastic vigour, but if you want ultimate brilliance my money is with the Dharkan.

So once again Nespresso deliver extraordinary coffees that assault the senses with raw visceral pleasure. I cannot recommend their coffee system more highly than saying it’s the best coffee system you can get. Well, unless they paid me to recommend it and I’d think of something dirtier. Dharkan is my new coffee of choice and, whilst the limits of pleasure are yet to be defined or reached, I’d actually wet myself with pleasure if someone could make me a better cup. And, as I said, I have Rupert Spira espresso cups so you are not going to have better ones, it is as simple as that.

I should just say that posts have not been flowing recently because of my incredible difficult in writing (mentioned above) caused by intense psychosis. Booze posts are particularly hard to write as the muscle relaxants I take for my incredibly painful back causes me to get extremely depressed and even more psychotic if I drink. So sorry for the lack of posts recently.