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Dani flashing his orbs

Orgasmic orbs

In honour of the great David J Constable and his noble Scotch Egg punditry I shall follow his lead and refer to the subject of this post as ‘orbs’. I aim to provide a reliable recipe for Scotch eggs/orbs, detail the qualities of required ingredients and give some suggestions for things to serve with them.

Let us be in no doubt, orbs can provide remarkable pleasure for what is seems a relatively simple serving of meat combined with ovum. However, to make this nibble a success there is skill required in preparation and selection of ingredients. Any old rubbish cooked any old way simply will not do. This is why Marks and Spencer’s orbs are rubbish and Sainsburys’ orbs are shameful lumps of disgust. The orbs Dani has been working on for the past few weeks have pleasured me immensely.

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Feb 6
By David Strange
Concerning

New on elitistreview

Wine

Peter Sidebotham with Roumier Chambolles and Rhys Pinot Noir
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Two Roumier Chambolles

I visit Christophe Roumier every year – he is one of the great producers of Chambolle-Musigny. However, after I have tasted from cask most of the wines I buy go straight into the cellar. Consequently, it was a real treat to try two Chambolle villages at a relatively early stage of development. They provided very [...]

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Food

Davy with Tonkotsu Ramen
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Super noodles

I’ve long held that fast food can be a serious gastronomic experience. Yet, as my previous ramen experience had been little more than Bachelor’s Super Noodles as a spotty youth, I was quite unprepared for the pulsing brilliance of Tonkatsu Ramen at Tsuru Sushi Bishopsgate. Consider my mind blown and a new avenue of pleasure [...]

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Other

Redwood Boysenberry Nip
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New Zealand’s finest!

Long-time drinking buddy ‘Non-stinky’ Jeff Home is current enjoying life in New Zealand and sends this guest post. After long and involved articles on 2010 Burgundy it seemed a refreshing view into a different type of drink. I hope you find it enlightening. Over to NSJ: Redwood Boysenberry Nip is sold in 750ml bottles in [...]

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Electric sex pants!

Joh Jos Prum Wehlener Sonnenuhr Spatlese 2001
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This note celebrates two events. Firstly, today it’s the 13th anniversary of the first time I tried to kill myself, shortly after paranoid schizophrenia consumed my mind, by slashing my wrists and then getting sectioned in the loony bin a few hours later. Tonight those events seem a terribly long time ago; I suppose they [...]

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2010 Burgundy tasting from Howard Ripley

Howard Ripley
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Since I did not make it to most of the 2010 Burgundy tastings I planned to attend I am very pleased that my friend James Hardy provided this summary of Howard Ripley’s event. James is an ex-Captain of the Oxford University Blind tasting team and so knows his onions. This is particularly true as I [...]

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2010 Burgundy tasting with Haynes, Hanson and Clark

Claude Drouhin with the world's most lovely Corton rouge
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I must start with an apology: horrific illness has prevented me from attending most of the 2010 Burgundy tastings I was planning to visit and write up. Luckily Haynes, Hanson and Clark provided an excellent view across many styles and producers and had much to say in general about the hilariously fine quality of the [...]

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Poo!

Chateau Pibarnon 1997, brown-hole Bandol
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The natural wine lunatics have taught us one thing: just because a wine is faulty doesn’t mean it’s great. However, faulty wines can have their pleasures and this bottle of Chateau Pibarnon 1997 is not without enjoyment value. I popped this with some Beechcroft beef burgers to celebrate feeling almost slightly less appallingly ill and [...]

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The Grill at The Montcalm – intense meat pleasure

The Grill tempted David with meat
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Hotel restaurants have a bit of a bad reputation in England. Food at The Grill in London’s Montcalm Hotel is so totally brilliant it not only shows they can be great for guests but also deeply desirable destinations for native noshers. Editor Daniel and I ate an outstanding meal at the restaurant and you should [...]

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Reeve the baker – a love letter

Lovely, lovely Angie modelling Jap Fancies
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In Woolwich I was in a constant state of terror in case I had to leave the flat. Here in Winchester I eagerly await each trip from the flat, not least because it will almost always involve stopping at Reeve the baker. My love for their bread and cakes, and the friendly, charming people who [...]

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