Horizon – Why did I go mad? (Video link – updated)

On Tuesday evening The Editor, the producer of the Horizon program and I went out for a little meal then came back to Elitistreview Towers to watch the episode of Horizon. Lawks, it was terribly good. Strangely, I found myself feeling a lot of… empathy for myself. Like most loons I just keep battling on and try not to let things get to me. However, the Horizon program showed, with no exaggeration at all, that I have a really hard time. It was quite difficult to watch.

Then, as soon as the program finished, the bad scallops I had for dinner kicked in and I spent all of Tuesday night and all of Wednesday being violently ill. I’m still not feeling great. I will have words with that restaurateur today.

But anyway, if you didn’t catch the program here is a link to it.

That is, of course, Copyright BBC, and their hawkish legal people may take it down.

  • keithprothero

    Just downloaded it out here in the Cape and will watch it tonight. Well done Davy. Hope you got a fee !!

  • keithprothero

    Brilliant programme and you were very brave Davy to go through with it. Chapeau !

    • Sorry for the delay in replying, Mr P, for some reason my site is not informing me when I receive feedback. This is most vexatious. Thank you for taking the time to watch the program and for your kind comments. Alas, no fee for appearing in this program, but I am always happy to promote understanding of mental health issues. I am particularly happy to speak about illnesses similar to my chronic psychosis – they are perhaps the most difficult to understand and frightening for people with no experience of them. I think I did a good job in my parts to make the nature of these illnesses more accessible. You are right, though, it was pretty hard work, at times terrifying, to do all the filming for that. If it has promoted understanding then it is well worth it. I look forward to when people no longer crack the joke, “I have schizophrenia. And so do I.” Loathsome, gets on my tits(, and mine;)!

    • keithprothero

      I am sure the programme has done a lot to help people understand what you and other sufferers are going through. One side effect of the drugs interested me ; The urge to eat and thus your weight gain .
      Guess it would be very difficult, if not impossible , to go jogging or just fairly long walks .? Do you manage to go out very often on your own ?
      Let’s see if we can meet for lunch this summer and chat about this whilst enjoying a few nice wines

    • Good morning Mr P., You correctly identify weight gain as a serious problem with antipsychotics, one has never felt such hunger as when one is on antipsychotics. If my back were OK, that it will be in a couple of months after I’ve recovered from the operation on it, I would go on a 30-45 minute brisk walk every day, that keeps Dani and I in reasonable physical condition (you’d be surprised how well Dani keeps up with me as I stride purposely forth around Winchester). However, with my back and legs screaming in pain almost all the time I’m lucky if I can do a half hour walk every other day – I currently average about three 35 minutes walks a week – this is not enough! I really cannot go out on my own at any point, I get confused, agitated and this liable to give me a large scale psychotic episode.

      There is one thing helping me at the moment, though. The dose of the antidepressant I’m on is being bumped up to a very high level because at high levels it can be used as a treatment for Fibromyalgia – another thing I have wrong with me. With this particular antidepressant it powerfully reduces one’s appetite the higher the dose gets, so I have actually managed to beat the crazy antipsychotic hunger a little and have lost a little weight (5kg) since the festival of lovely food Hampshire for at Christmas.

      It would be lovely to meet you, Mr P! We would be happy to bring a few Rieslings and have a quiet philosophical discussion chez nous, if you preferred.