A gift to encourage further mirth

I consider myself very lucky to have wallowed this bottle with extravagant jollity. I consider myself very lucky to have some more bottles. Keith Prothero, one of the loveliest friends it is possible for a chap to have, gave me some and said I could name him as the donor as long as I said it “was a gift in appreciation of [my] superb blog and all the unpaid work [I] do writing it. Hopefully it may encourage others to make a donation to keep your site filled with interesting notes.” I think you are a bit optimistic on that last point*, Mr P, but, by arse, Team Elitistreview are god-damn appreciative of your gift.

JJ Prum Auslese is, in terms of bottles consumed alone, the favourite fine wine here at Elitistreview Towers. I know this is largely a product of its incredibly high quality to price ratio, but that in no way detracts from its towering absolute quality level. Year in, year out, ‘Shouting’ Manfred Prum and his daughter Katharina produce this, which never fails to be one of the world’s most brilliant wines made in that year, slap an almost insultingly low price-tag on it and make thousands of people all over the world very happy.

If I may embarrass Mr P even more, he knows I have been rather suicidal of late. He also knows I am one of those thousands of people made happy by JJ Prum Wehlener Sonnenuhr Auslese. So in sending me this gift, he is not only encouraging me to write Elitistreview, he is also making it less likely I will be pouring myself a pint of bleach one night whilst The Editor is asleep. Thank you, Keith, as I drank this I remembered how much fun life can be! If anyone else would like to follow Keith’s lead in both encouraging me to write interesting tasting notes of seriously fine wines on Elitistreview and also reduce the chance of me drinking bleach, please feel free! Now, the note!

JJ Prum Riesling Auslese Wehlener Sonnenuhr 2006Riesling Auslese Wehlener Sonnenuhr 2006, JJ Prum

Hell’s bells, what a nose! I may have chilled it a bit too enthusiastically, but even before it has warmed up I can smell a lot of slate-characteristics and an awful lot of the type of aroma my good friend Guy termed ‘sucrosity’ – this is such a useful word for a Riesling lover I will happily appropriate it as my own!

There are also powerful, powerful citrus aromas: the pure lime of youth has developed into something more lemony – is still exciting and simulating. These combine with subtle peachy hints from Botrytis, not there is much in the way of Botrytis character present compared to the character shown in big Botrytis years, to make the nose impressively fruity.

Indeed, considering 2006 is considered a hint on the lean side as far as German sweeties go, this nose has a deeply powerful, profound character. This is a nose to delve into and meditate upon: it is sweet, it is sour; it is fruity, it is slate-y; it is mature, it is fresh; it is quaffable, it is bewilderingly complex; it is elegant, it is deeply powerful.

Good lord, what a lot of sensations to penetrate your hooter, if I were a new-comer to this wine I would be left speechless just sniffing it! Luckily I am a seasoned pro. I can relax and swim in the glorious flow of utterly gorgeous aromas coming from my wine glass and think, “This is a great JJ Prum Auslese that is definitely ready for plucking!”

A taste… Time has stopped… All things, apart from the intensity of the acid, the complexity of the fruit and slate and the incredible richness of the sugar, fade out of your mind and you become lost, if only for a moment, in the involute brilliance and coruscating vividness of the palate. I then say to The Editor, “Shitting fuck! If you think the nose is brilliant, wait until you taste the fucker!”

So I shall have another taste. Cripes! When it is cold out of the fridge you almost think you are tasting the most perfect eiswein you have ever encountered in your gloriously endowed tasting history. It is so sweet and so acidic; it is a stunning experience tasting this. Much more begins to show as the temperature of the wine increases.

I love it! I love this even though… No! Because the intense collection of flavours seem so intense they might make your mouth bleed. With it reaching a more expressive temperature it seems a touch more on the elegantly delicious type of style, but really this is a powerfully complex, effulgently vivacious wine, pulsingly full of life.

This is only twelve years old but it is fresh as a daisy. No rush at all with drinking up your socks off this at all. Indeed, if you have a good enough cellar this will last longer than you or me. If you do not have any of this at all… well… there is always Wine Searcher…

*In the time between finishing this post on Friday evening and the publishing time of Saturday at midday someone did actually promise further donations to the worryingly empty Elitistreview review stash! What a miserable cynic it appears I am! Mr P left a comment on Facebook to the effect that I could subtly use his donation to canvas Elitistreview readers to make further donations. I reported that what I had written (above) was not subtle. Clearly this little exchange on Facebook was not subtle either as an American friend, also called Keith (Levenberg, this time), offered further wines to keep this organ fresh. I passed on some very reliable websites for him to choose from.

Only slight problem is that Keith Two (‘The Revenge’) gleefully promised to make sure one of his donations would be something I would hate. Great, thanks. I suppose I have not really challenged the invective construction-neurons recently and people always tell me how humorous and inventive my scurrilous remarks about feculence can be.

That being said, under no circumstances is anyone to follow Keith Two’s perverse example. Should they, I shall hunt them down and force them to drink the piss then write a glowingly positive review of it, of at least 1,000 words in length. For the review the offender will feature in a very large picture of themselves kissing the sample bottle with the text “I have poor taste even as far as shit-lickers go” will be emblazoned across the image

Thank you for you non-offensive donation(s), Keith, it is really kind of you to support Elitistreview with quality things to review (who knows, I may enjoy assassinating your other gift as well – although that is deeply uncertain)! Of course, many thanks to Keith P as well!

Are we there more fine wine-loving Keiths out there? (other donors names will be accepted, I also accept cash if people would rather I chose my own wine;)

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