But I found this to be very funny:
Author
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Site proprietor
I am a very charming insane person who is very well-endowed with academic epidemiology and professional wine qualifications. I am extremely generous with my opinions and bodily function references. Fifth top red trouser wearer in the international wine trade. I am the author of the first 800,000 words on here spread over 20 years of continuous publication.
Wow. Leaves me quite speechless. What creative minds there are out there!