The National Health Service have set up a swine ‘flu helpline.
I called it but all I heard was crackling.
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About The Author
Davy Strange
I am a very charming loony, supremely well-endowed with epidemiology and wine qualifications, who has finally found that severe PTSD, Generalised Anxiety Disorder and chronic psychosis are, on one of my all too rare good days, only a moderate impediment to having crazy fun with wine and food. Fifth top red trouser wearer in the international wine trade.
You know you’ve got swine flu if your body is covered in rashers, but it is a pig to catch.
If you catch it you get taken to hospital in a hambulance and get treated with oinkment.
Sorry.