Edward had a few old bottles of dubious provenance that he had picked up very cheaply at an auction and, sadly, some were simply dead. These included a half of Heidseck Dry Monopole 1928 and Chateau d’Yquem 1960, both of which would have been intriguing if in condition. The rest of our drinking was rich and varied, with some bottles absolutely engorged with pleasure and others which were quite surprising. Here are the notes on the whites:

Vin de Laurence 1998, Mas de Daumas Gassac

This was our first drink on arrival and by arse was it a weirdie – given it blind I asked if it was supposed to be as it was and suggested it might be stupendously shagged-out Sauternes or really freaky Madeira. It is brown. There are lots of funky, oxidised, acetone aromas here and virtually nothing in the way of fruit. That being said, if you like Madeira, or possibly are a necrophiliac (please don’t tell me if you are a necrophiliac, I just don’t want to know that information), there are characters you might enjoy. It certainly isn’t simple. The palate has good acidity, plenty of sweetness and perilously little in common with normally-made whites. Real length to the flavours, though, and if you can recognise that conventional does not equate with attractive you may well see merit in this wine. Ageing potential? Cripes! How much more spent, knackered and absurdly crapulent can it get?

Riesling Kabinett Scharzhofberger 2002 auction wine, Egon Muller

When Mr T told us he was going to pop this my excitement was protrusive; I tried it at the Grosser Ring tasting years ago and it was super-beezer. I am surprised by how muted the nose is. Sure, there is lime fruit and great minerality, but it doesn’t explode with refulgent brilliance. I fear this is in a bit of a middle-aged hole. Yeah, that is what I get from the palate as well: the fruit is demure and the minerality burns with merely timorous intensity. It is clearly an incredible kabinett of real style and class, but it is so tightly wound at the moment it takes my most perceptive and analytical tasting faculties to disinter its sophisticated charms. Come back in five-plus years time.

Brut Chardonnay 1995, Pol Roger

Can I be ego-maniacal briefly? Well, it is my site so if I cannot here then I don’t know where else I can. So: we were given this blind and I nailed it instantly – it was a true piece of blind-tasting mastery. Ho ho ho. Brilliantly biscuity on the nose with an incredibly stylish lemon fruit character – this is a stunning, pure-Chardonnay fizz from an extremely serious Chardonnay vintage. Serious class, I’m telling you. The mousse is delightfully fine, and the interplay between mature flavours, ripe lemon fruit and great acidity just leaves me gagging for another taste. To me, this is clearly superior to and in far better condition than the bottle of Salon 1996 I popped a couple of weeks ago. If you’ve got some of this in your cellar then you have purchased supremely wisely, it is great now but clearly will just keep on getting better for many years to come. Blanc des Blancs Champagne at its most tumescently satisfying.

Champagne Cuvee Sir Winston Churchill 1996, Pol Roger

Wow, such density and depth on this nose. The Pinot influence is strong but it doesn’t seem overbearing or ponderous. Very attractive, in all honesty. The palate is scrumptious. Its fruit is ripe and strident with a fiercely bold whack of acidity and the flavours just go on and on. If you want scale and decent complexity in your fizz-necking experiences this delivers all one could possibly ask. Excepting sparklers at the loony-nutcase-hatstand end of explosively stylish greatness, such as Krug 1996, this is the complete Champagne experience.

Riesling Clos Ste Hune Vendanges Tardives Hors Choix 1989, Trimbach

The ravishing purity and finesse of this nose speak to and emotionally effect me in a allure-charged, beauteous style I find hard to articulate. It is bewitching. Considering this is a selection of old vines that have been late harvested in a hot vintage it seems amazing that it is not power that defines its set of aromas but rather svelte, understated sophistication and carefully composed elegance. Yeah, there is candied orange fruit, lots of ripe lime characters, some petrol and all that stuff one is supposed to find in mature Riesling, but that isn’t what this nose it is about. It is a coruscating entity of breathtaking purity and unrestrained beauty. Its alive, and it knows it is good. The professional wino in me feels I should talk about the fine acid, rich minerality and layers of candied fruit which this obviously possesses, but reducing this scintillating entity to a list of component parts seems risible. As I swirl it around my palate I feel its lambent intensity and fulgurous exquisiteness shining focussed beams of enjoyment directly into my pleasure-centres. Tasting this is an incredible experience both viscerally and intellectually – it is intensely flavourous yet totally delicate and beguiling. The harmony is, if I may say a rude word, frankly mind-buggering. Bottles like this show that the limits of pleasure really are yet to be defined or reached – totally up for drinking and the best bottle of this I’ve witnessed.

Part 2 (the reds) will follow in a few hours.

Ignoring my manifest failures to function like a normal chap, it was a fun evening. Richard’s other guests were delightful and we hope to talk them into meeting us at restaurant of the moment A La Cruz for big lumps of masterfully manipulated animal. The wines there may not be as grand as those provided by Richard, but there will be far more opportunities for schoolchild-level sniggering when making suggestive remarks about meat. Anyway, to the wines:

Champagne Blanc des Blancs Grand Cru 1998, Clos Cazals (magnum number 253)

First time I’ve tried this fizz and, given my lacklustre experiences with 1998 fizz in general, I’m finding myself rather taken with it. There is a distinct strawberry/raspberry character to the fruit on the nose which is not what I would expect for a pure Chardy fizz. So a bit odd, but certainly pleasing. It also seems to have a creamy mineral character which could well be due to its single vineyard origins. These single vineyard fizzes can often blow apart the suggestion that the greatness of Champagne comes from being a blend of wines from different sites, this nose has bags of winning personality. The palate is has as fine a mousse as one could ask for, with a good tension between fresh fruitiness and more mature mature biscuit flavours. Its reasonably long, and I think the complexity is just fine. As I said, my first experience with this producer and I would not feel put out if I had more in the future.

Batard-Montrachet Grand Cru 2000, Domaine Ramonet

There is always the worry when popping an older bottle of white Burgundy, and as I saw flashes of orange to the colour of the wine as I poured the fear of premature-oxidation was palpable. By arse, I was wrong to worry. The gorgeous panoply of engaging, riveting, alluring aromas that this nose is suffused with convey with sophisticated panache all the brilliance white Burgundy can be capable of. It has incredible layers of lemon and apple fruit intertwined with a powerful mineral character but, even though there is one hell of a lot, and real density, to this nose, it just seems to soar to heady heights on the lightest wings of gossamer. As I’m swirling and smelling its gaining more dimension and its ravishment quotient just boggles my diseased mind. The palate is a joyful interplay between limpid, exciting, fruity flavours, powerful minerality and energetic acidity. The flavours are a kaleidoscope of captivating jouissance – it has an abundance of exactly what it needs precisely where it needs it to keep you thrilled and bewitched as you witness its phenominal progression across your palate. White Burgundy – nay any white wine – is vanishingly rarely better than this.

Gevrey-Chambertin Mes Favorites Vieilles Vignes 2001, Domaine Alain Burguet

This is a bit of an old favourite that I have reported on before. This bottle, I feel, is perhaps showing better than any previous one – its nose has a perfect balance between lively energy and mature soft fruitiness. It is very Gevrey in terms of its set of aromas, but I’d find a hard job nailing it to a particular vineyard; perhaps not unexpected as it is a blend of old vines from various village-level vineyards. Buts it is tits, man, tits-double-plus. The fruit is charming in high-value spades and its rich earthiness is distinctly pleasing. The palate is really silky, with a deep concentration of old vine complexity. This is far from the cheapest village-level wine you’ll find on the market but there are damned few that’ll deliver those pleasure goods quite so satisfyingly. Top kit. I hope I can score a couple more bottles before they all vanish.

Griotte-Chambertin Grand Cru 2001, Domaine Joseph Drouhin

You want me to say this has a cherry character to the nose, don’t you? It does, actually, but not in an overwhelmingly powerful sense. Indeed, the primary character I’m getting from this nose is one of sleek, svelte elegance. For sure, it is complex and all that stuff, but it is the understated beauty which really tweaks my rude bits – the panache, the élan that it shows is superlatively enjoyable. The palate continues this theme of understated sophistication. It lacks nothing in terms of fruit, minerality, tannin or acidity, but that is not how I am thinking about this wine, it just seems a coherent entity of composed, sculpted satisfaction. Top stuff. Richard and I had a little chat about Drouhin wines as I was trying to fight off waves of infeasible nausea and he suggested that, whilst their house style tends toward being a hint neutral, this can allow really good vineyards to flash their wads with real class. The Drouhin wines I have drank most of are Clos des Mouches (red and white) and (because I am an appallingly flash git) Musigny and I think Richard is spot on – the top Drouhin wines are worth anybodies money but further down the pile one might get caught up with excessive yawning. I loved this Griotte-Chambertin unreservedly.

Riesling Auslese Breumel Im Der Mauern 2008, Muller-Catoir

At this point in the evening I was writhing about on the floor moaning and generally being overcome with thoughts of hurling, so I didn’t taste this wine. However, the rest of the team stepped up to the boiler plate and provided the following tasting note which they claim will suit the Elitistreview style just fine. It goes: This wine is like repeatedly being punched in the face by Paddington Bear with boxing gloves made of ultra-concentrated marmalade and ground glass.

Well, I laughed.

Cheers Richard, it was a top evening despite my mind’s best efforts to ruin it. It’d be nice if you could also make it to the A La Cruz mass meat noshing-fest by way of a change from our normally wine-obsessed evenings.

As far as assessing wine goes blind tasting is somewhat akin to the swimsuit section of a beauty pageant – you scrutinise with nothing hidden and the fancy frocks of preconceptions cast aside. I rather enjoy the process as it requires focus and analytical thinking about what you taste. It is a demanding discipline and no matter how much you’ve done it before the risk of making a total arse of yourself is always palpably present. Since anyone may guess wildly inaccurately it can generate a few good-humoured chortles with tasting companions who are well aware it could be them next. As such, it is a quite jovial way to sample wines. I think we acquitted ourselves well enough to prevent too much embarrassment.

Riesling Spatlese Berncasteler Doctor 1998, Dr Thanisch Erben Thanisch

I love the nose which is ultra pure in terms of citrus fruit and slate minerality. It is reasonably ripe and shows some maturity but really pulses with vivacity. The focus and purity on the nose coupled with the refined, complex minerality signal to me that this is from a top producer and a first-rate vineyard. The palate is linear with great acidity, lovely lime fruit and refined minerality. There is some weight here and it is reasonably sweet, although its age has clearly reduced the impression of sweetness. It has a mouthwatering sapidity and for all its manifest class it is a joyously appealing drink. A wine well-worth enduring the Teutonic severity of the estate owner in order to procure, we drink German Rieslings in the hope of encountering examples so engorged with outstanding quality.

Vintage Champagne 1996, Krug

The scale and complexity of this nose is astonishing. It has a definite Pinot derived cold cocoa character but the fresh redcurrant fruit that explodes from it is very intense and charged with life. There is definite density here with layer upon layer of powerful but intricately detailed aromas that leave me feeling quite intoxicated. I want to get down to drinking this. Bloody hell, the epic acidity level here slashes through the palate with the unabashed enthusiasm, and as far as my sensitive stomach goes a lot more pain, than a particularly acned teenager getting to work squeezing a fresh and frightfully livid crop of pimples. But that is just fine with me, it is remarkably balanced and provides definite energy to the impressively muscle-bound set of flavours that are potent with dimension. It tastes of so much and the flavours go on and on. It might not be a light, refreshing example of fizz but the sophisticated authority with which this delivers feisty vibrancy has me utterly persuaded of its brilliance. This is the stuff.

Cornas 1996, Clape^[1]

This nose is beautifully polished and bewitchingly refined. There is nothing rustic or rough here, it is all alluring sophistication. The fruit is charged with complexity and, whilst it has distinct earthy aromas, there is nary a hint of anything even remotely unclean in an unsavoury style. It smells gorgeous. It has a very silky, smooth texture with no tough tannins, clumsy oak or excessive acidity. It is all about harmony and, lets be honest here, its disposition charged with ardour. The wine is a paramour of the most seductive, sensual character that clearly has it well within its capacity to tantalize all but woefully lugubrious dullards. Inordinately charming Cornas.

Cornas 1996, Verset

Noel ‘Papa’ Verset has left us to mourn his departure from the world of fine wine and his wines have definite hen’s teeth status, so it was distinctly vexatious that the first bottle of this we popped was corked. Lucky for us James just happened to have another.

I feel the strong earthiness and slight leafy and leathery tinges to the dark fruit speak strongly of its origins. There is a suggestion of a rustic edge to the nose as well. I like it, though, its charm is rugged and honest even if it is not trying to drag you into bed. The palate has a rugged somewhat tough tannic structure, but the fruit and earthiness are quite engaging. I feel very slightly discomposed about the acidity level, it has a vague hint of spikiness, but this is a good wine. It is quality Cornas, just of a style that one will encounter with diminishing frequency in the future.

Hermitage La Chapelle 1983, Paul Jaboulet-Aine

A bottle of Hermitage should be an event in itself, but I find the volatile acidity aroma and flat, dull character of what fruit this displays to be disquieting. There is a bit of life still battling on, but this bottle has clearly seen better days. Sadly the palate is also motoring down the flat and dried-out road, there is not the rich depth of manly complexity we hope for in good Hermitage. I’ve been terribly fortunate to have tried this wine on many occasions and always loved it – I would have been chuffed as punch if what is probably the last bottle of it I’ll get to try had lived up to those captivating experiences.

James then popped a bottle of Cornas ‘Domaine de Rochepertuis’ 2001 from Jean Lionnet to warm us as we battled our way back across London. Sadly it had a weird cheesy, dirty aroma and tasted rather grim. I thought it had been the victim of some form of bacterial spoilage as I know and love this wine and I’ve never had one tasting so unpalatable. We finished of the Riesling to prepare for heading home.

1. ^[1] When I was at Oxford I wrote a column for a wine magazine profiling different wine-makers. I titled my article about this producer ‘A dose of the Clape’. My opinion of the magazine’s editor plummeted when he retitled it ‘Clape, Clape, David Strange applauds a great wine-maker’. Fancy replacing an amusingly suggestive title with one so utterly turgid and lacklustre. ↩

The only let-down of the night was that a bottle of Lafon Volnay Clos des Chenes was totally corked. I really love Lafon reds so this was a pain, but HPB Peter had a rather good backup wine so my nerves were soon settled. I was terribly chuffed with how my bottle of Chave Hermitage showed.

We had a slightly minimalist meal but it suited the wines just fine. I roasted a leg of lamb with more skill than the last time I served it almost totally raw (sorry Chris). Editor Daniel’s roast potatoes are always quite brilliant, for them alone goose fat’s existence is justified.

If you fancy a change when cooking green beans just blanche them in hot boiling water for a couple of minutes before draining and transfering to a hot frying pan. Add a little tin of anchovies that have been chopped up, about 5 cloves of crushed garlic and stir fry them togther until the beans are still slightly crisp but just beginning to wilt. They’ll taste delicious.

Champagne Chardonnay Brut 1996, Pol Roger

The lemon fruit on the nose smells remarkably youthful, there is some toasty maturity but this is really striking me as being quite undeveloped for a 14 year old bottle of fizz. The combination of fruit and that toasty, biscuitty complexity make this a most pleasing bottle of fizz to sniff. But I need a drink after being awake for much too long so I’ll stop sniffing. By arse, 60s student dormitories have less acid than this palate. If it were not for its richly buttered-toast and powerful fruit flavours this would seem rather severe. The balance is just perfect, though, a joy to drink and no rush to finish off any bottles you may have.

Riesling Spatlese Graacher Himmelreich 1995, Willi Schaefer

This is a slightly worrying shade of yellow/orange, but now I’ve sniffed it it seems I worried for nothing, it is in rude good health. Mature petrolly citrus aromas of marked complexity are here, and it is amazingly slate-themed, so this seems like it has really repaid its time in the cellar. The palate is a fulgurating entity of refined beauty. The acidity is thrillingly vivacious and its fruit, whilst being mature, is totally moreish. Love that minerality. It is just a seriously sapid delight to drink and even a little taste makes you just want more and more. I could drink this all night, but sadly this is HPB Peter’s last bottle. Thanks for sharing, Peter.

Vosne-Romanee Premier Cru Aux Reignots 2004, Domaine Robert Arnoux

Considering how often we are told that 2004 Burgundy is either green or has the character of crushed ladybirds I am rather pleased with the palpably ripe fruitiness of the nose. Moreover, there is the correct degree of Vosne exotica present here which has slapped a smile charged with aesthetic mirth right across my visage. Just from the nose I’d say this would reward a decent amount of time in the cellar. The palate gives me the same idea as the tannic structure could do with a degree of amelioration. This is not to say it is out of balance with what is quite delicious fruit and restrained but adequately lively acidity. I’ve found Arnoux wines to be slightly on the hard side in the past so it is a pleasant eye-opener how much charm this exudes – it is a properly salubrious bottle of Vosne that would just merit more cellar time.

Chambolle-Musigny Premier Cru les Cras 2002, Domaine G Roumier

Oh lovely, wonderful, beautiful Chambolle, how I love your enchanting jouissance. This is quite a ripe example, though, with a rich panoply of fruit that move toward darkness in tone. These aromas are inter-twined with a distinctly rich earthiness giving an overall impression of refined sophistication, albeit of a marginally large scale. I freaking love this nose, it is suffused with class and style. Tastes rather stylish too; all the wonderful, vaguely floral fruit that infuses it show this to be a very fine bottle of Chambolle that is confidently loquacious about its origins. The tannins are very ripe and silky but do not lack in terms of giving this all the structure it’ll need to last and improve for many years to come. This is just beginning to emerge from middle age and flash its delectable delights, and those delights are joyfully gorgeous. One of the very best Chambolle Cras I’ve had from Roumier, well up to the heady quality heights reached by the 1995, 1999, 2005 and 2009.

Hermitage 1996, Domaine J-L Chave

Wow, Hermitage rarely smells as unmitigatedly beautiful as this; it is remarkably refined, extremely elegant and stupefyingly sophisticated. The fruit it shows is mellow with mature softness, but does not seem in the slightest bit tiring or shagged-out – plenty of life here. The extreme perfumed beauty this exudes makes me want to revel in the nose for hours, but I’ve got to know if the palate lives up to this sensual gorgeousness or if it suffers from ’1996 syndrome’. Hooray! Whilst the acid is certainly vivacious, it is far from being extreme or over-whelming, rather balanced in fact. And it is a gloriously balanced, ravishingly attractive palate of total rapture. It has plenty of fruit, slightly mature in character, and an utterly silky tannic structure with stunning persistence of these complex favours on the finish. Certainly mature, but absolutely no rush to drink this elaborate entity of bewitching brilliance.

Bonnezeaux 1997, Chateau de Fesles

This is the best bottle of this astoundingly brilliant wine I have ever had, and it is my last. Previous bottles have been stunning entities of star-bright intensity but this is blowing my mind. This almost limitless beauty leaves me dumbstruck.

Champagne ‘Grand Cru’, Raymond Boulard

Guy brought along this rather spiffy bottle of fizz. I’m slightly embarrassed to admit I’ve never had a Raymond Boulard Champagne before. So, what is it like? Very dense on the nose, its 90% Pinot Noir content shows very strongly. There is some red fruit here and a very intense brown bread character. This smells full-bodied, almost thick. The palate is also weighty and dense, with powerful red fruits and more of that whole grain breadiness. It tastes almost thick too. In all honesty it is not terribly refined or svelte, but this has the body and power to be drank with hearty food; if you ever need fizz with steak then this would seem like a good option.

Riesling Kabinett Trittenheimer Apotheke 2009, Josef Schmitt

The chemist’s vineyard: it looks very impressive and amazingly steep when one drives past it. This wine, alas, is more than a shade on the simple side. It has some good fresh lime fruit on the nose and that is pretty much it. The palate is also perilously lacking dimension: there is limey fruit again and some good acidity but perilously little else. It is not bad, just a modest wine which thankfully only cost at a modest amount. However, cheap necking wines are not my style, my remaining bottle will be donated to lesser people.

Riesling Kabinett Oberemmeler Hutte 2009, von Hovel

Cripes, this smells like a type New Zealand Sauvignon Blanc! It has all of those piss mixed with nettles and freshly crushed blackcurrant aromas. I don’t really view this as a positive character; Sauvignon Blanc is vastly more tedious than Riesling should be. As I’ve been furiously swirling this in my glass the micturition aroma has slightly subsided and been replaced by a hint of something more limey, but this nose is all wrong. Very wrong. The palate is more like a Kabinett Riesling should be, but sadly it is like a fairly boring Kabinett Riesling. Sure, there is good fruit and fine acidity, but it is very short and has only the merest hint of minerality. This is boring me to tears, please let me stop drinking it. I’ll be good, I promise, just take it away.

Riesling Kabinett Eitelbacher Karthauserhofberg 2009, Karthauserhof

Now this is much more like it, it is fizzing and bubbling with nervy life. The lime fruit is so fresh it is still on the tree and there is a distinct stoniness to the nose. It is a racy, exciting wine to smell and it is not short on class or complexity. It tastes exhilarating too! There is a lot of ripe lime fruit, powerful slate minerality and stunning, coruscating acidity. It is certainly very well balanced, but it is a wine that is living on the edge of sanity; its take-no-prisoners vivacity is so intense that it has taken more than a few steps down the unhinged path. Speaking as a nut-case myself I can see the positive aspects of such qualities. This is a really top Kabinett, and it wasn’t expensive either.

Riesling Kabinett Graacher Domprobst 2009, Willi Schaefer

Hell’s bells this is sulphur-tastic, it smells like the Domprobst vineyard is the site of an active volcano. Once I’ve got used to that I can see the really refined, beautiful fruit and stylish minerality this also has on the nose. It has a set of aromas which engage my intellectual faculties but also make me quiver with visceral lust. The palate is the embodiment of precision, with thrustingly well defined lime fruit, minerality and acid.  The interplay between fruit, sugar and acid is scintillating and they are in throbbing harmony. This is even better than the previous wine and that was a serious goodie. What can be a step above ‘serious’? Is this a solemn goodie, a grim goodie? No, its a stelliform entity of hilarious pleasure. I’m so pleased that I ordered six bottles of this, it’ll be tweaking my fancy for many years to come.

Fontalloro 2004, Fattoria di Felsina Berardenga

This positively reeks of Sangiovese; ripe, clean and quite attractive Sangiovese. Its sour cherry fruit character is very Tuscan and, in its slightly spiky way, really rather pleasing. The palate has rigorous tannins and a bitter character which is what one is looking for in these kind of wines. There is plenty of ripe cherry fruit and its not aggressively booze-themed; it is a lot more delectable than some of the dried-out wines of crapulence that Italy can produce. I think one should be drinking wines like this when they are young rather than old, you want to enjoy all that ripe fruit whilst it is in balance with the prodigious tannic structure.

Côte-Rôtie 2001, Bernard Burgaud

This is really rather stinky on the nose, there is one hell of a lot more than than a hint of Brett shittiness here. The fruit is very nice but that crap character is extremely distracting and, even though I have a high tolerance for Brett, this is worryingly close to, if not actually, being faulty. When a wine has this much Brett arsehole action going on there will be non-uniform aging between bottles. When you pull one from the cellar you never know what you’ll be opening, will it be youthful or over-mature, you can never tell. The palate has Burgaud noble tannins, pretty good dark fruit, but it is decidedly dirty. I really like Burgaud wines normally, and none of his other 2001s I’ve tried have been so themed on filth, but this is just too poo permeated to be enjoyable.

1. ^[1] I will admit that at midnight I suddenly felt so spent I had to give up and go to bed. I was asleep within 30 seconds of my head hitting the pillow, which made a nice change ↩