Quite a looker, eh? I am terribly grateful to those few people who have sent me gifts. Not only is it nice to know that people like the drivel I write on Elitistreview but also, given my appalling financial state, there is no way I can afford to buy lovely little things like this vase no matter how much I crave them. I think our lives are improved by owning beautiful things, so I’m terribly grateful to those who have provided me with a bit of aesthetic illumination.

At gun-point I might be forced to admit I have a very slight preference for my pre-historic caviar bowl, but it doesn’t really matter – I love all of my ceramics.

For a long time I have lusted after owning a little piece of well-preserved Roman glass; a follower of Elitistreview (who wishes to remain anonymous) gave me this marvellous example as a token of appreciation for all the laughs I have provided.

It dates from the 1st Century CE and, even if you ignore its historical interest, it bewitches me with its lambent beauty. The iridescent colours ancient glass takes on can be most attractive and I think this example delivers a properly florid collection of hues. I’m deeply smitten.

Many thanks for the gift, anonymous donor; Elitistreview Towers will be illuminated by its presence.

Most of the ceramics that grace Elitistreview Towers are from contemporary studio ceramicists, but this year we’ve looked a little further back into the history of that artform. For his birthday I scored editor Daniel a few pieces found in Chinese ship wrecks, the oldest being an elegant little medieval bowl. When I saw this I realised that would soon seem a comparative youth.

I am assured by the seller, who seems a trustworthy source, that this is from the Indus Valley dating back to between 1800BCE and 2800BCE. From that location I’d guess the fish depicted on it is a sturgeon. Consequently, every time I look at it I will feel a resonance with its original owner because with Elitistreview I am continuing the ancient and noble human proclivity to celebrate tasty things.

If you’d fancy one for yourself one they can be purchased from the Heal’s website. More of Jars’ oeuvre can be seen on their website. Daniel says that some of their stuff is a bit girly, I have to point out that there is nothing wrong with being a girl and some of our best friends are girls.

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The inside burns with a vivid, evil radiance.