Drink » Cocktails

Davy drinking mock poncha

Blood orange mock poncha

Poncha is the fuel of Madeira, everywhere serves it and everyone drinks it. So deeply embedded is it in the culture of Madeira that it is a Protected Denomination of Origin – you can only get the real thing on Madeira. Hence this is mock poncha. Blood oranges are also not typical of the real […]


The Elitstreview effervescent health elixir

Clonazepam deals very successfully with the anxiety of being bonkers, but it makes one tired and doesn’t really make one that happy. It also doesn’t do much for the happiness of those who have to look after we insane types. So Editor Dani and I sallied forth into Winchester and found ingredients to make a […]

Hawksmoor, wine and writers

Hawksmoor, wine and writers

The Editor and I travelled into The Big Smoke to meet Swedish wine writer Erica Landin in Hawksmoor Spitalfields earlier today. She seemed impressed by our capacity to eat, the general pricing policies of London and the specific pricing policy of Hawksmoor. Fair enough. Erica’s experience of wine journalism in Sweden is somewhat different to […]

Dani enjoying a dog at Hawksmoor Spitalfields Bar, I enjoyed them to!

Hawksmoors’ latest addition

A couple of days ago Editor Daniel and I were extremely fortunate to be invited to the opening night of Hawksmoor Spitalfield’s new bar in their cellar. Once again it demonstrated that boss-men Huw and Will are unswerving in their desire to provide quality venues for good times for their customers. Let’s make one thing […]

Dani with a BM

Bloody Marys and burgers

At the last Hampshire Farmers’ Market Editor Dani and I picked up two bottles of Isle of Wight tomato juice from The Tomato Stall and we thought they’d make great BMs to go with Woodlands Jersey Beef burgers. I present the two greatest recipes for Bloody Marys the world has ever seen. There are several […]

The Hawksmoor Seven Dials bar with the Hawksmoorathon team

The Hawksmoorathon

It’s four in the morning and I cannot sleep because I’m excited. I’m in London at the moment with excellent friends Dan and Jeff and just before bed they told us they’d be taking us to dine at every branch of Hawksmoor today. I am all a-quiver with excitement at the prospect as it promises […]

Marks and Spencer childish drinks

Elitistreview for kids!

Sadly the legal minds at Elitistreview have reminded me that titles like this are the sort of thing the dreary fun police and their miserable, misanthropic informers pounce upon just in case there is a suggestion that someone might be having a laugh. Consequently, I must point out that anyone below whatever age is required […]

Outside Hawksmoor Guildhall looking forward to many japes and capers

Hawksmoor Guildhall – three, it’s the magic number

I think this organ demonstrates my dedication to the pursuit of ludicrously enjoyable experiences. Fortunately, my erratic stagger through life has presented an obscene number of these and so I feel confident in my ability to handle extreme gratification. However, our Tuesday dinner at the new branch of Hawksmoor was so pleasurable that even my […]

Remains of marrowbones

Hawksmoor – not only London’s best steak restaurant but also incredible cocktails

The celebration of me becoming even more knackered and rancid (which is to say, my birthday event) took place at Hawksmoor – London’s best meat restaurant. The usual selection of delectable bits of animal (the remains of some are pictured left) were on offer, but I was gratifyingly altered by the brilliance of their new […]

Hawksmoor Seven Dials dining room

Hawksmoor Seven Dials – version 2 of London’s best meat restaurant

Long time readers will know that in my opinion Hawksmoor is the most stunning, staggering and stupefyingly brilliant source of steaks in London. I’ve had so many blissfully happy meals in the restaurant near Spitalfields that I’ve come to view it as a home away from home, although I admit my home is less themed […]

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