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Electric sex pants!

This note celebrates two events. Firstly, today it’s the 13th anniversary of the first time I tried to kill myself, shortly after paranoid schizophrenia consumed my mind, by slashing my wrists and then getting sectioned in the loony bin a few hours later. Tonight those events seem a terribly long time ago; I suppose they are. Nice to still be here.

The other celebration passed a few days ago, the 10th anniversary of Editor Daniel moving into Elitistreview Towers to stop me doing bloody stupid things like the above. I spent a lot of that time too bloody minded to accept the help that was freely being offered and so still occasionally behaved like a fool, but Dani has kept me alive, cared for and happy in ways I don’t think either of us were really expecting. Thanks Dani, you’ve been carer-tastic and supreme-human-being-licious. You’ve also done sterling service removing the most horrifically offensive bits of my writing. Speaking of which…

Joh Jos Prum Wehlener Sonnenuhr Spatlese 2001

Riesling Wehlener Sonnenuhr Spatlese 2001, Joh. Jos. Prum

A tightly-wound, intense nose with only hints of maturity. The fruit is ripe but incredibly fresh and vibrant – indeed the major impression from the nose is one of vivacity. The slate-minerality is pure and focussed and, whilst it is definitely linear and direct, it positively throbs with complexity. There are intellectual thrills on the nose and it is also simply gorgeous in a transparently desirable manner. Hell’s bells! What a lot going on on the palate! Where to start? It’s pant-pooingly acidic, that much is certain, and it’s tooth-fizzing, tonsil-scalding ferocity is wonderfully enhanced by a stunningly pure, forcefully intense minerality. Yeah, it hurts quite a lot, but it is improving pain. Actually this makes me begin to wonder if one day I might enjoy someone giving me a good seeing-to with a cane, but I’ll save that discussion for later. The fruit is perfectly ripe with a suggestion of being buxom, but such is the focussed purity of the acidity and minerality this seems perfectly in balance and even it’s impressive amount of sugar seems almost hidden. It’s harmony is sublime and it’s charged with life. I could think about this wine and analyse its brilliance for an age, but I’m more in the mood to throw myself into it’s electro-sex-ravishment experience and revel in an wine that may be able to ask deep existential questions but it equally happy to get its kit off and get down to the business. I have no doubt you could age this for incredible periods of time, but I have no regrets about popping and enjoying this bottle at this juncture.

As an aside, 2001 is a truly great, mind-bendingly brilliant vintage for M-S-R Riesling: I bloody love them. 2009 was a great vintage but they don’t quite have the nervy, high-voltage thrills of the 01s. I think, indeed I’m pretty sure, the 2010s do. This wine was such a success I think I may open one of my Erben-Thanisch Berncasteler-Doctor Auslese 2001s soon; that’ll be electric sex pants turned up to 11!

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