Champagne or wallpaper, I’m not sure which

I got this to celebrate the partner’s return to London after two weeks away. He says, “If this is what you opened you cannot be too ecstatic to see me.” I am ecstatic to see him, but this wine is piss boring.

Champagne Brut Grand Cru Blanc de Blancs Presidence 2002 Vieilles Vignes, R & L Legras

Bit bready and yeasty on the nose, with hints of… erm… I am not sure there are any hints of anything else. This smells fresh, and that is about it. By arse I am freaking bored to tears smelling this. Some character would be nice. The palate is watery and insipid. This must be called ‘Presidence’ because it is as short as Sarkozy. I’d like to rant semi-coherently about this having no redeeming features, but it just has no features at all. Avoid.